Can You Leave Someone's Close Friends
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Friendships can be tricky territory for everyone. You might hit it off with someone immediately, or abound together over many years. Either way, if someone else jumps in and interferes with the time you spend with your friend, it can injure. To deal with these situations, you need to actively nurture your friendships, handle your emotions in a healthy manner, and be able to interact with your friends and their other friends in a polite style.
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Reflect on your feelings. Earlier you hash out your concerns with anyone, have some time to reverberate on the situation and why it bothers you. At that place may be reasons why this is bothering yous and it is important to understand them. Some questions y'all might ask yourself include:
- Do you experience like this person is taking your friend away from you completely? Or just reducing the time y'all get to spend with them?
- Do you experience dependent on your friend for emotional back up? If and then, how has the reduced time with them afflicted you lot?
- Do you feel jealous because the person is your friend's significant other and they are spending more time alone together?
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Talk with your friend first. After you lot accept identified your reasons for feeling upset about the state of affairs, information technology is important to discuss your feelings with your friend. Your friend may be totally unaware that they have been spending and then much more time with someone else. Talking with them may help to remedy the situation.
- Try saying something like, "I accept been feeling left out since you started spending most of your time with Tabitha. We used to spend almost of our time together, and I actually miss that."
- Yous might likewise want to mention specific concerns such as, "Since y'all started spending nigh of your time with Joe, I have felt really lone. I had an awful twenty-four hours at school last week and I really needed to talk to you, but you were hanging out with Joey and never returned my call."
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Be firm with a spiteful person. A person who is seeking a true friend (even if you were friends with them start) is not looking to do any you harm. In this case, information technology should be easy to work things out and get some more time with your friend. You might fifty-fifty cease up being shut friends with the person. On the other mitt, if this person is taking your friend to hurt you, yous may need to be more business firm with them that their tactics are non acceptable.[1]
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Make friends with the person. If the person who is taking your friend does not know you, they are likely simply becoming friends with your friend. Get to know them, and you might discover that yous accept a lot in common. This can help mend the relationship with your quondam friend, and lead to a new friendship.[2]
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Avoid introducing them to other friends. If the person is someone you know, you might not want to introduce them to your other friends. Keeping them away from other friends will help ensure that they do not accept away whatsoever more of your friends. They are likely to go along their behavior by stealing your one-time friends, likewise. This kind of behavior volition probable drive your friends away from the person and back to you.[3]
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Get to know some of their friends. If this person continues to take away your friends, yous could outset getting to know their friends. This could as well help keep y'all in touch with your old friends, since you lot'll still be in the same social circumvolve. It might besides get the person'south attention and help them understand that what they are doing to you hurts.[four]
- Rather than just using these people to hurt the friend person, make an effort to build 18-carat friendships.
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Nurture your friendship with the person y'all feel you lot've lost.
- Invite your friend over to your house or somewhere y'all both beloved. Brand your friendship fun and interesting. It could be that your friend thinks yous're both going through the motions of friendships and finds your rival more heady. Show your friend how unique and special your friendship is.
- Compliment her more. Most people appreciate compliments. Girls like getting compliments on their outfit, makeup, perfume, and shoes. Be nice in general; information technology'south possible that some beliefs of yours has driven your friend away.
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Maintain a reasonable social circle. In that location is no perfect number of friends. That said, having too many or too few friends can create a lot of tension in your life. Focus on regularly building new friendships. This will aid you spread out your free energy and needs among several friends instead of counting on only one person.[5]
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Observe balance in friendships. Manifestly, it is important to spend time with your friends. What most people lose sight of, however, is that it is simply every bit important to spend time abroad from your friend. This gives you each time to feel new things and spend time with other people. A few ways to maintain a healthy balance in friendships are:[half-dozen]
- Have scheduled hangouts (eastward.g. brunch on Sunday).
- Spend time with multiple friends separately.
- Create regular "me time" to be alone.
- Regularly spend time with your family, too.
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Appreciate time with your friends. You and your friends will get through times where it is harder than usual to assemble. During those times, it is especially important to brand the most of your time together. Brand a point to express to your friend that you lot enjoyed seeing them and want to keep the friendship strong.[7]
- For case, if you haven't gotten to spend time with your friend in a long fourth dimension, you could say something like "Information technology was great to encounter you lot! I hope that we can assemble again soon."
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Give it time. If you and your friend are going through a rough patch, avoid the urge to blitz to a ready. Sometimes it takes friends a very long time to grow together, and information technology can accept them time to grow back together subsequently the friendship weakens. Give yourself and your friend time to process how you feel virtually things and work out the reasons that you are spending less time together.[viii]
- If this doesn't work, try to make new friends. Maybe you and your friend have changed and become quite different. It'due south natural for friendships to fade away and be replaced with new ones. Don't struggle to keep a weakening friendship alive if it's clear your friend has moved on.
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Wait at the positive side. Allowing your friend to spend fourth dimension with another person frees upwards your time to do the aforementioned. You could focus on other friendships, build new ones, or give yourself time to focus on your school, work or hobbies. Make an effort to keep touch with your friend, but enjoy the time that yous at present have complimentary.[ix]
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Focus on the present. If your friend is no longer in your life or spending as much time with you, acknowledge the good times you had together and motility on. Avoid habitation in the by or spending all of your energy chasing this one friend. Allowing yourself to be happy will non injure the odds of mending things with your friend, in fact, it will aid you be less biting about the whole state of affairs.[10]
- Proceed yourself entertained and happy by going out to movies, social gatherings, etc. with new friends (or other former friends).
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Forgive your friends for social mistakes. Even though your main trouble is with the person who took your friend away, you might still find that you harbor hard feelings towards your friend for allowing it to happen. After some fourth dimension, your friend may feel that they made a mistake. If then, they may make an effort to rekindle the friendship. If this happens, it is okay for you to forgive your friend.[11]
- If this happens, information technology is appropriate to hash out how the rift fabricated you feel. Then, move on and start rebuilding your friendship.
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Add New Question
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Question
How practice I deal with losing all my friends?
Dr. Chandler Chang is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, the Founder & Owner of Aureate Hour Therapy and Therapy Lab, and a Clinical Teacher at the University of Southern California. With almost 20 years of experience, she specializes in providing bear witness-based, science-backed treatments to toddlers, children, teens, families, and adults to target specific mental health problems or cultivate mental wellness. Dr. Chang earned a BA from Princeton University and a PhD in Psychology from The University of Georgia. She completed UCLA's pre-doctoral internship and trained at NYU'southward Kid Study Center and UGA Regents Center for Learning Disorders.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Practiced Answer
It can be really sad to lose a friend or a friend grouping, but that can happen for reasons that are completely out of your command. In this case, do your best to accept care of yourself and to really think most what yous want for your next friendships. Make an effort to take care of your mental health and to find new good friends who are more uniform with yous.
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